V-22 Osprey and F35B stealth jumpjet hot exhaust melting decks of US warships

The new generation of high-tech hovering aircraft – namely the famous V-22 “Osprey” tiltrotor and the upcoming F-35B supersonic stealth jump-jet – have an unforeseen flaw. Their exhaust downwash is so hot as to melt the flight decks of US warships, leading Pentagon boffins to look into refrigerated landing pads.

According to a recent US Navy  “request for proposals” – The deployment of the MV-22 Osprey has resulted in ship flight deck buckling that has been attributed to the excessive heat impact from engine exhaust plumes. Navy studies have indicated that repeated deck buckling will likely cause deck failure before planned ship life. With the upcoming deployment of the F-35B Short Take Off and Vertical Landing (STOVL) Joint Strike Fighter (JSF), it is anticipated that the engine exhaust plumes may have a more severe thermo-mechanical impact on the non-skid surface and flight deck structure of ships. Currently, there are no available strategies to mitigate deck buckling and thermal-mechanical deck failure other than heavy structural modifications.

The jarheads* will want to operate their new machines from their existing helicopter-carrier amphibious assault vessels, which can’t practically be torn apart and refitted with massively reinforced upper decks as this would be likely to make them capsize. Similarly it would be extremely difficult to refrigerate the whole deck from beneath.

Hence the Marines would like someone to invent “a system that can be installed on top of the existing decks”, capable of resisting the hot breath of the F-35B and less than one inch thick. It should also, of course, be tough enough not to suffer any damage from the aircraft landing on it. This miracle fridge-sheet assembly should be covered with “thermally stable non-skid” finish – this latter perhaps incorporating “amorphous metal coatings”….etc, etc….. mmmmmmmmmmmmm ……

* US Marines are  called “Jarheads”  owing to their dislike of having any visible hair on the sides of their heads, or any longer than about 1mm on the top. The Marines aren’t as tough as they think they are – frankly, nobody could be that tough – but even so, jocular commentary on their coiffure is normally offered only from a safe distance.

from http://www.theregister.co.uk

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The Spirit of Berlusconi lives on in Lincolnshire

I was returning home from the village shop this morning when a big flashy car pulled up with an Italian in a smart suit at the wheel. He wound down the window and in an Italian accent asked me directions to Gatwick Airport. Before I had time to tell him he produced a (presumably) fake Rolex watch in a ‘leather’ case priced at £350 and asked me if I wanted a free watch which his boss back in Italy had told him to give away before he returned home. “Its free” he said, “I just need some money for petrol to get to Gatwick”. I told him I had no money on me but I was happy to give him directions. I sent him along the A52 to join the M1and then to the M6 where he was to turn north to Spaghetti junction and follow the signposts to Gatwick. He drove off quite happily. I returned home smiling.

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